Memoirs - Finale 7

Editor's note: This is the final installment for this series. I have written in two perspectives, and everything here is ENTIRELY FICTIOUS, except for the storyline, and the entire dialouge is taken word for word from the incident. Well, it was kind of long, and it was tiring to finish it. However, I hope you people would appreciate this. Heck, I think I cried writing both of the climaxes. -.- (The author is PATHETIC) I hope that she would continue this series, or in another case, Gan Yu. Here's hoping :)

Shounen's POV

The twilight darkness shrouded a cloak over my bedroom. The window was ajar, allowing pressured cool air to blast through. On the second burst of chilly wind rushing into my room, I concentrated on the chilly sensation and used it to wake me up. My eyelids fluttered open to check the time on my digital alarm clock, reading 0545 hours. I kicked myself off my bed, and got onto my feet. I cleaned up, still slightly dazed. I cleaned up, and then paused on the way out of my room to grab my bag. I slid down the curved stairway railing and landed smoothly on the solid parquet flooring on the first floor. I then proceeded to the kitchen and had a nutritious breakfast of oatmeal and dragon fruit. After washing my dishes, I vaulted over my sofa in the living room and stepped in front of the porch, sliding into my school sneakers.  As I stepped outside, I savored the morning fresh air as the aroma of mint plants I have been growing embraced me. The story behind the mint plants, well, it started like this. I have seen many other mobsters smoking before. However I detested the pungent stench of all that haze coming out of those thick cigars. Hence I decided to grow mint leaves to neutralize the smell, and well, I had this idea of rolling a bunch all together and wrapping them into a piece of tracing paper, then lighting it up as per normal. Now I bore the patent rights for inventing the first non-tobacco cigarette, which could not cause lung cancer and emit a bad stench. People have been trying to buy this idea off me. The highest bid currently was now 2.1m.

I dashed across a well-worn path that slashed straight through the lush fields and into the exterior of my apartment.

As I reached school, for the first time I realized how weird the situation was. Loading a member of Cagliari’s greatest Mafia families into a neighborhood school, even though I had Masters in English Literacy, Drama and Theatre, Biology, Psychology and a degree in Law. However, I decided to act my age and proceeded to my class, 2i4.

I would like to say that I settled down, talking cheerfully with my friends and taking a break before school started. That was not the case. After vaulting up three storeys via the school terrace railings, I rushed into my class, clunked my sling bag onto my seat and rummaged through my bag for undone homework, and spent the next half an hour wracking my brains just to finish the assignments given to me. It was a common scenario for me. Homework that was given yesterday was supposed to be completed yesterday night. However, you guessed right. I did not.

After closing my final assignment book, I scanned the classroom. She was not here yet. I anticipated to see her in the assembly area later on. She was always punctual, not late. The school bell rang and I rushed down, leaving my classmates in the dust.

After a murderously long principal’s speech and a few moments of silently reading a novel I have read umpteen times before and authored myself, we were then finally dismissed back to class. Clutching the novel ‘Memoirs’ in my hand, I looked behind me as my class headed back. Sure enough I saw her chatting with a quiet girl in my class. In actual fact, she was one of the few who bothered to communicate with me, and another transfer student when we first stepped into 2i4. The description, ‘A friend to the friendless’ really suited her well. I looked back again and confirmed my statement as I saw her chuckling along with the friend she has made.

After I greeted the English teacher, I slumped into my seat and allowed my head to free-fall to my desk. I do not know whether that action made excessive noise, or whether it pissed the teacher off, but five minutes later just when I was about to doze off, the teacher called me up to asked me a question that I obviously could have answered. After allowing me to sit down, I decided that sitting up straighter would be more beneficial to my impression as a proper student. I decided to reflect on my life and feelings.

I was pretty content. The opposing superpower Mafia in Sicily, attempting to take over Cagliari, had been eliminated. My family had been reunited, and she would be able to live a peaceful life. Well, a lot has happened over the past few months, and now it was almost the end of the year on the 8th of August, Monday. Twirling my pen, I tried to stay awake in class. As my eyes darted about, as they would naturally, they fixed their gaze on ÆlÆNOR Rife, the strategist of the Lucchese Famiglia. To be honest, I saw her as a bit more than a friend. As she talked among her friends, I felt relieved to see her smiling face and then I hummed a bit of a tune sang by the Kagamines, a J-Pop duo. However, I modified the lyrics a little for their song Kokoro. 

Thank you... for making me human again

Thank you... for the days we spent together

Thank you... for everything you've given me

Thank you... I will sing for eternity

I had dedicated these modified lyrics of the song to ÆlÆNOR. She was the one who returned all humane emotions to me, and taught me that life was not all about grades and leisure. She was the one who taught me how to care for someone precious to me, in this case, her.

Later that day, after school, she cheerfully asked me if I would be online on the computer. Well, I would be and even though she stayed under the roof of the Lucchese HQ as well, the sprawl of the HQ was huge. It would take half an hour for a normal person to make his way from the kitchen to the living hall. Not for us though.

I agreed to go online and she raised her arm in a farewell. I played a small smile and headed home as well.

ÆlÆNOR was online before me and we were chatting about games, and school stuff. I really enjoyed her company, and I did not want to tell her how I felt yet. I just wanted her to live a peaceful life and perhaps down the road find her Mr Right. It did not have to be me, but I would be quite happy if she could live a life in peace. Anyway, between her and me, it would definately be fiction. Though I hoped not. I sincerely hoped not.

ÆlÆNOR asked a question that threw my mind into tangles.

'ÆSEN, do you have a girl whom you like?' she asked.

I laughed nervously. Things were not going well here. A moment ago I was contemplating on how this topic was not supposed to be brought up, however here was ÆlÆNOR, slapping it into my face. I tried to divert the subject. Mission failed.

‘Actually I have a guy whom I may like though,’ ÆlÆNOR admitted, ‘however I’m not even sure of my feelings for him yet.’

Those words struck me like a molten rod through snow. However, I managed to keep the churning emotions of worry and anxiety from affecting my judgment and my speech.

‘Okay…’ I replied, ‘ I shall not probe you on who it is.’

‘What about you?’ ÆlÆNOR asked. She was not one to drop a subject just like that. For heaven’s sake, she’s a strategist. ‘Do you have someone?’

I replied a yes and she decided to probe a little further.

‘Are your feelings for her confirmed?’ She asked, ‘Or are they still uncertain, like mine?’ she added with an ‘XD’ emocon on the other end.

I was glad that we were not using a webcam or a microphone for communication, because if that were the case, I reckoned the webcam or microphone on ÆlÆNOR’s end would have either overheated or exploded, or both.

‘They are confirmed.’ I said with total conviction.’

She texted back a laugh and gave me some encouragement, however on my end it sounded more like murder.

‘Well then, I would help you in some ways I could. I still have some girl instinct left in me.’ She reassured me. ‘I think.’ She added. Not so reassuring anymore, and the ‘XD’ emocon popped up again.

My mind was in a whirl. Here was ÆlÆNOR trying to help me, however she was the only person who could not. The special one in question was she herself.

I decided to be polite and thanked her.

However I held on to my rational side even under these circumstances. It was fiction! Surreal, false and non-existent, and it would never happen. I told ÆlÆNOR likewise.

‘I know it is fiction between her and me,’ I texted, ‘The definition of “fiction” means unreal, inexistent, unrealistic. The entire affair is totally FICTION.’

ÆlÆNOR texted back, ‘Well, have you tried to do anything for her?’

‘I have helped from a far, without her knowledge that it’s me sometimes, and I usually obey her more than anyone else.’ I replied.

‘Have you done anything more obvious?’ She inquired skeptically.

I replied a no. Heck, if I had done anything more obvious, my cover would have been blown and our relationship as even staying friends would have been in peril.

ÆlÆNOR replied in full a full capital letter sentence.

‘ÆSEN! YOU REALLY HAVE NO GUTS MAN! WHERE ARE YOUR B___S?! (This word has been censored as I do not really deem it appropriate by my moral standards)’

As I read that accusation that really felt like ÆlÆNOR was shouting at me for my cowardice, I tried to see the funny side of it and crack a smile. However I think the only result was a facial expression that resembled a lemon-sucking grimace.

‘Thank You.’ I replied. It was heartening to see that her next reply was not all in capital letters.

‘Well then, just know that I’d always be here as a friend.’ She reassured me.

I straightened my thoughts out. She may have teased me, scolded me et cetera, but ÆlÆNOR still held a special place in my heart. It was now or never, and I had to tell her and confirm the entire affair was totally fiction.

‘Can I give you a hint on who the girl I like is?’ I asked, tension building up in my entire being.

ÆlÆNOR hesitated for a moment and replied consent.

‘Hint:’ I texted, with anxiety building up in me, ‘ I saved her from a speeding bullet with one of my shrikes before.’ The words hung around in my word bank for a moment, and I closed my eyes and pushed the enter button. The words appeared on the chat system and as if on cue, my computer crashed and rebooted itself.

I buried my face in the palms of my hands and tried to stay rational. Today was all too sudden. I had planned to gradually spell it out to her the next year, when both of us were more mature. Well, she was already mature enough, but I was not sure about myself.

As I tried to sort out the whirlpool of emotions and conflict inside me, my cellphone rang. I looked at the contact, and I swore my heart jumped much higher to gasp for air, either that, or it sank in anxiety. The name on my cell phone screen, displayed in font size twelve letters, were the words that read, ‘ÆlÆNOR’.

I accepted the call.

‘Hello?’ I answered wryly into my phone. This was basic etiquette.

‘Have you ever saved a girl before?’ ÆlÆNOR asked, ‘Besides me, whom you have sliced a bullet into two to protect me during the Inzerillo Siege?’

The Inzerillo Siege was one of the hugest massacres carried out by the Lucchese Famiglia. It was al planned by me, and ÆlÆNOR was in mortal danger, something I still could not forgive myself for, until now.

I gulped and answered softly, ‘No. You were the only one in my life whom I have saved under those circumstances.’

There was an awkward silence for a moment, then the penny dropped.

‘So that means I’m the one you like?’ ÆlÆNOR inquired cautiously. I hoped she did not hear the sound of my keys tapping as I let my head slam into my keyboard.

‘Yes.’ I answered. It ended here then. No turning back now, her next sentence would either raise me up or crush my heart.

‘Erm,’ ÆlÆNOR hesitated over the other end. That was quite out of character for her.

‘Actually… I-I’m not,’ ÆlÆNOR was picking the right words. I kept silent.

‘I’m not ready ÆSEN.’ Came the full reply.

I sensed ÆlÆNOR was about to continue. However, I felt color drain from my face and my heart slowly fell into pieces and collapsed into debris of emotion. Don’t say it, I thought. Please, don’t continue the statement.

She said it.

‘I’m sorry.’ ÆlÆNOR answered with a tone that almost sounded warm and tender.

I held back my emotions as she tried to converse with me further.

'You are actually quite brave you know,' ÆlÆNOR commented and admired, 'It takes up a lot of courage for a male to confess just like that.'

I was brave? No, I was pathetic. This kind of false courage would be meaningless if my will for living was crushing my heart that way.

I gave her a listening ear and listened to her experience of having a crush as well when she was younger, and that she knew the feeling of rejection. She also told me that even she herself was not sure of the emotions she had for her special one. However, as I listened, I could not do much more than answer in one-word replies. If I had said more, I was afraid that I would have said something wrong. After some miscellaneous talk, she concluded the conversation like this.

‘I’m sorry ÆSEN.’ ÆlÆNOR said again. The she tried to cheer me up, which in actual fact, made me feel a little worse, but I tried not to let that show.

‘ÆSEN, there are many other girls out there better than me. Maybe next time, when you are ready, you may find one for yourself.’

Finally, she decided to end this on a happy note.

‘ÆSEN! YOU REALLY HAVE NO B___S MAN! GET SOME GUTS WILL YOU?’ she spoke slightly louder and teasingly, and I could feel her smiling on the other end, I think, Wryly saying ‘Thank You’ again, she continued by saying to see me in school tomorrow, bade me farewell, then the line went dead.

I’m not sure about you on the other end reading, but I reckoned many males in my shoes would have yelled or swept everything off their desk, creating a huge mess, just to let all those feelings out. I am glad to say I did not do any of that. However, there was nothing to be glad about. Everything could have been gray and chilly for all I cared. I felt everything draining away from me. My inspiration to write. My drive for my agility. My moral standards and humanity. All gone. I called up a song on my computer. One that always made me remember my silent vow to her. Now I finally grasped the true meaning of the song. The title was Wishes, sung by a collaboration of two bands in Kira Kira Overdrive~Curtain Call, an anime game that I have been playing. I reflected on the lyrics in the chorus.

You were my summer sunshine

You were my winter moonlight

In my heart you were my inspiration and my life.

Even though we’re far apart, I would keep you close in my heart.

Till the end of time

Till my final breath

I shall care and dedicate my life to you

Sincerely in my heart

I would never leave---- your side

No matter where you are

I would keep you close in my heart----

At the last few stanzas, I knew I could not have bottled it all in anymore. I realized my door was slightly creaked ajar. However, I did not care. I cared for nothing anymore. I picked up a pillow, huddled into it in my swivel chair put my head into it and closed my eyes. I was totally not sure if the pillow turned damp.

The next few days were the release of our Second Common Test results. My results were not too bad, scoring a distinction in five subjects out of seven. However matters of the mind could never compensate for the matters of the heart.

Soon after, I asked ÆlÆNOR on how I would carry on in life. She contemplated for several moments and finally came up with this.

‘I want you to live your life to the fullest, leaving nothing worth regretting for later. Do not look back into the past, and strive forward.’ ÆlÆNOR advised.

I accepted and thanked her.

After reaching home, I began to prepare my metal casting area. After a few moments of smelting solid platinum and titanium, I revealed my masterpiece I had personally made.

It was a titanium jester’s mask with a white and black side, The black half with a grinning face and the other with a face that was shedding a single ruby tear of emotion. That would be my insignia from then on, that no matter how painful the pretense was, I would act like everything was fine on my external features, as portrayed by the black, however I shall not show what I felt within, as portrayed on the white side. I shall carry out what ÆlÆNOR told me to do, and endure the pain of pretense, and the ache of dejection I was cursed to bear.

Three days after that fateful Monday, ÆlÆNOR texted me over the computer that she had just cut her hair with a friend.

‘Now exactly how short is your hair?’ I teased, ‘Nothing too shiny I hope. I don’t want you to be a nun.’

‘Nuns have hair.’ ÆlÆNOR pointed out.

‘No, you can never be a nun.’ I said, ‘You have a whole future and a lifetime ahead of you. Most importantly, YOUR special someone.’

‘I have a feeling you just texted me the previous message with a tinge of sadness.’ ÆlÆNOR replied.

What could I say? Facts are facts. However, I reflected over what has happened over the few days. I had learnt a very important lesson. To really care and love someone in a sense, it doesn’t mean that he or she must stay by your side to symbolize that you really care for that individual. Instead, if you grab the individual so much you would not let him or her go, that would not be care or even passion. That is just cruelty, inconsideration and disrespect. I let ÆlÆNOR walk the path of life she wanted to live by. I let her be free and respected her decision. That was how I cared.

So how did I answer the question? It was simple.

‘The sky is pretty blue isn’t it?’ I texted back, a sad smile playing along my lips.

__________________________________________________________________________________

Shoujo's POV

Waking up wasn’t exactly my forte. The faint glimmer of the sun rising slightly brightened up my room, and the morning air was warm and cozy. The perfect environment for sleep. However, school usually started at 0720 hours, so I checked my alarm clock. Adjusting my eyes to the images in my room, I threw off my covers and boosted myself off my bed, staggering when I planted my pair of feet to the ground. Great, I had a grand total of ten minutes to get up, clean up, have my breakfast and rush to school. I dragged myself off my futon and washed myself up, and I did not bother about breakfast. I grabbed my bag, of course with all my homework done, and rushed off to school, jogging across the concrete pavement, with the morning air awakening my senses further.

Somehow, I did not know how, I managed to reach school on time, with my hair neat, tied in a single ponytail. Just a little background story, there weren’t many things I did not know. After all, I’m the strategist in Cagliari’s Mafia superpower, the Lucchese Famiglia. Why I was even here after I had Doctorates in Linguistics, Art and Life Sciences? I did not really know. I just decided to act my age and stop focusing on my Cryogenics PhD for the time being. I decided against going up to class as I deduced that would have taken more rushing and energy, so I headed to the assembly area and waited there.

Gracia, one of my best friends and co-curricular activity mates arrived first. I chatted with her for a short while about some miscellaneous stuff, till soon almost the whole class reached the assembly area. I took my seat right at the front and followed the protocol of a standard morning assembly.

After twenty eternal minutes, the Chairman at the head pedestal dismissed the school class by class. I stole a glance across my back. As usual, the two boys sitting at the back were punching and fooling around with each other, and the teacher was more to the front, so he was oblivious to the mischief going on at the back. However the one who I really focused on was Leone. He was the class genius and had this X Factor exuding through his entire being. Well, I wasn’t sure about my feelings for him yet, and I did not really think I was as ready as I was supposed to be. Admiring that transfer student from a distance, I stole a final glance and struck up some friendly conversation with a relatively quiet classmate.

After struggling through a Math lesson, I was delighted when it was finally time for the English period. My English teacher was much more lax in her teaching, hence my friends and I could converse on any subject and conduct our small talk freely. As my friends conversed and stifled the occasional levity and laughter, I subconsciously sang a song taken from Phantom of the Sky from the music artistes M2U. No one noticed as I hummed the tune to myself.

Let me fly, let me go

For no one will ever know,

So that I, may join you again---

Let me fly, let me fly so that I may spread my wings

And join you in---

The blue sky again----

These were the original lyrics to the song, and I usually felt free as this melody was hummed. It was true though. The sight of Leone always made me feel free and perked me up. Well, this time he was talking to Kai and was laughing away with him as they conversed on a topic on Babarella or something. His smile was soothing to watch. Soon after, I chuckled as ÆSEN was called up to answer a ridiculously simple question asked by the teacher. He was the Lucchese Famiglia’s scout. His preferred modus operandi was to emerge from the shadows using Parkour and slash apart an opponent without them knowing who their assailant was. However, at least that would teach him not to sleep during lessons. On that happy and final thought, I let myself grin mildly for a moment before rejoining my friends in girl conversation.

After school, before heading home, I paused to ask ÆSEN if he would be online on the computer later that day. I raised my arm in a cheery farewell after he consented to rendezvous with me.

ÆSEN stayed back in school for a period of time, hence I was online before him. While I was surfing a ‘Like’ site, ÆSEN texted me over the chat system. Glad to have company, I chatted with him for a few moments, before I realized an unusual pattern he bore.

ÆSEN’s style of fighting was efficient and swift, never failing to protect others. That was new, because usually fighters aim to take down the opposing party first. However ÆSEN worked differently. Piecing all my fragments of though into one piece like a jigsaw puzzle falling into place, I deduced that ÆSEN was fighting based on motivation and not battle-lust. As a strategist, I decided to confirm this. However, I had to think of a way to approach this issue. I would be awkward if I suddenly asked, ‘ÆSEN, what is your motivation in combat?’ Et cetera.

Since I was a female, I had much better emotional sense. Hence I dealt a little better in sensitive issues, and I used that to my advantage.

‘ÆSEN, do you have a girl whom you like?’ I asked.

That was one of the viable ways to get the truth out of him. Firstly, if he had one, then his motivation is to protect a special someone of his. However, if he did not have one, I could approach the subject in a safer manner afterwards.

Apparently I put too much pressure on this sensitive issue as ÆSEN tried his utmost to divert the subject. That made everything sound a little more fishy.

Seeing this as an opportunity, I decided to share my feelings with ÆSEN a little. Well, I trusted him.

‘Actually I have a guy whom I may like though,’ I admitted, images of Leone flashing through my heart and mind, ‘however I’m not even sure of my feelings for him yet.’ I continued.

ÆSEN respected my privacy and reassured me that he would not probe further on the identity of the person in question.

As a strategist, I was not thrown off track that easily.

‘What about you?’ I asked again, ‘Do you have someone?’

ÆSEN replied a yes and I was slightly surprised. However it was easy to get over it.

Just to affirm this, I probed further.

‘Are your feelings for her confirmed, or unconfirmed like mine?’ I asked, inserting an ‘XD’ emocon at the end. I liked that emocon. It was cute in a way.

‘They are confirmed.’ Came the reply. I almost could feel the sincerity in the text sent to me, and I decided to give him some encouragement.

‘Well then, I would help you in some ways I could,’ I reassured him, ‘I still have some girl instinct left in me. I think.’ As I entered the last part, I found it appropriate to insert the ‘XD’ emocon again.

ÆSEN thanked me, however the next text sent to me sounded much more bitter.

‘I know it is fiction between her and me,’ he texted. ‘The definition of “fiction” means unreal, inexistent, unrealistic. The entire affair is totally FICTION.’

I was slightly irritated. How would he know till he tried? I decided to ask him something.

‘Have you done anything more obvious?’ I asked with suspicion.

ÆSEN hesitated before he replied a no. At this point, I really felt irritated. I texted my next statement in full block letters.

‘ÆSEN! YOU REALLY HAVE NO GUTS MAN! WHERE ARE YOUR B___S?! (This word has been censored as I do not really deem it appropriate by my moral standards)’

I just had to say it. If ÆSEN really hoped to get that girl then he should have taken action first!

He replied with a gracious ‘Thank You’. Taking into consideration that ÆSEN was a male and that it was taking a ton of his emotional strength to talk about this issue, I softened and replied.

‘Well then, just know that I’d always be here as a friend.’ I reassured. After all, ÆSEN was still a good friend of mine.

I think my monitor screen was heating up as I felt tension building up on the other end of the communications.

ÆSEN texted me a question that I thought it took almost all of his willpower.

‘Can I give you a hint on who the girl I like is?’ ÆSEN appeared to hesitate sending that text over the chat system.

I was intrigued. Perhaps he just wanted to share a little, so I let him. I gave him the green light and the go ahead.

‘Hint:’ He texted, ‘I saved her from a speeding bullet with one of my shrikes before.’

My mind went in overdrive. I was slightly intrigued by this hint. ÆSEN was a fighter, and no doubt he has protected many others, and eliminated others too. However, I thought harder. How many damsels in distress has he saved from a speeding bullet?

Besides me in the Inzerillo Siege. I looked up at my screen, and somehow, he had disconnected. With no idea whether he logged out just after giving me the hint or whether he had just disconnected due to a technical glitch, I decided to give him a call.

After a few beeps, the line was picked up.

‘Hello?’ An electronic voice sounded over my phone. I decided to go straight to the point.

‘Have you ever saved a girl before?’ I asked asked, ‘Besides me, whom you have sliced a bullet into two to protect me during the Inzerillo Siege?’

The Inzerillo Siege was one of the greatest combat situations in which ÆSEN displayed his highest combat ability in.

‘No. You were the only one in my life whom I have saved under those circumstances.’

That sentence lingered in my mind for a short while, then the penny dropped.

I have heard many shockers from unstable patients while I was training as a psychiatrist and a psychologist. However, this revolution was the whopping greatest.

‘So that means I’m the one you like?’ I asked quietly, trying to sort out my thoughts.

‘Yes.’ Came the quiet reply. I reckoned it was a huge blow to ÆSEN’s emotional sense.

As a female, I was thoroughly shocked by this as well. I said something really intelligent like, ‘Erm…’

I stammered a little, ‘Actually… I-I’m not…’

I caught myself and pressured myself to gather my thoughts.

‘I’m not ready ÆSEN.’ I replied comprehensively, back to my usual self, devoid of emotion.

However, as I said it, I felt that statement was crushing enough. Hence, I vaulted off my computer seat and leapt of the second storey of my apartment, and stole into ÆSEN’s apartment, leaning against the external side of his oakwood room door. I continued my sentence.

‘I’m sorry, ÆSEN.’ Those words bore a huge weight on my chest.

I tried to continue to make him feel a little better.

'You are actually quite brave you know,' I commented and in actual fact, I felt a spark spark of admiration, 'It takes up a lot of courage for a male to confess just like that.'

As he kept silent, I tried to cheer him up and talk more with him. I was recounting my experience with a crush that I had before, and that I knew the feeling of getting rejected. However, I could tell he was straining to control his emotions as all his one-word answers were tight and wry.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said again. I tried to condescend myself, ‘ÆSEN, there are many other girls out there better than me. Maybe next time, when you are ready, you may find one for yourself.’ I hoped I did not make him feel worse.

Realizing that I was getting out of character and sounded more like a weak little girl, I decided to rant a little, hoping I would be able to make the conversation feel a little more light-hearted.

‘ÆSEN! YOU REALLY HAVE NO B___S MAN! GET SOME GUTS WILL YOU?’ I realized I was smiling as I slightly raised my voice over the phone.

ÆSEN answered a ‘Thank You’ wryly and tightly over the phone again, as if someone just… pierced him in the heart. I said something about meeting him in school tomorrow and bade him farewell before hanging up. Today was a rough day.

To see how he was doing, I creaked open ÆSEN’s room door to see if he was fine. He was playing a Japanese song over his tower speakers, one that I did not know the lyrics to.

I creaked the door open a little bit more, and a thin strip of light burst in. I was worried he would notice, however I did not think he did. The scene I saw shocked me. ÆSEN had his face buried in a pillow, legs curled against his body. I have never this side of him before. So weak. So pathetic. I resisted the urge to go over and pat his back trying to comfort him, and turned my back on him, in total rejection.

The next few days, I observed he was not as cheerful as he was before, and also not as active. He had also fallen ill with a case of cough and I figured his immune system folded because of that fateful incident. I pushed all the guilt away and reverted to my normal self.

Over the chat system, ÆSEN asked me on how he should carry on from there.

‘I want you to live your life to the fullest,’ I texted, ‘leaving nothing worth regretting for later. Do not look back into the past, and strive forward.’

That was my original thoughts, and I just let him deal with it, and deal with his own life from then on.

Three days later, I decided to cut my hair with Gracia. I made sure my bangs weren’t too long in case my Math teacher got irritated about it. When my Math teacher is irritated about something, she generally cuts our marks or merit points.

After reaching home, I chatted with ÆSEN a little. When I told him I had cut my hair, he issuedStandard Boy’s Behavior. In other words, he could not resist teasing me.

‘Now exactly how short is your hair?’ He teased, ‘Nothing too shiny I hope.’

Irritated, I decided to get a little factual with him.

‘Nuns don’t have hair.’ I pointed out.

ÆSEN hesitated and concluded.

‘No, you can never be a nun.’ He texted, ‘You have a whole future and a lifetime ahead of you. Most importantly, with YOUR special someone.’

Twirling my hair on one end, I just let my girl side take over a while and felt slightly sorry. Slightly.

‘I have a feeling you just texted me the previous message with a tinge of sadness.’ I replied.

Well, ÆSEN had an efficient way of pissing me off that never failed.

‘The sky is pretty blue isn’t it?’ He texted back.

Well, facts were facts, and how could he deny it? I looked up at the sky and saw that it was gray, and was threatening to rain anytime soon then. Well, someone was in denial. I rolled my eyes in irritation and texted back.

‘You always talk about the sky.’